JD thought he had fallen to his knees, but it honestly barely registered. She couldn't — he knew that Veronica had been shaken by Ram and Kurt's deaths, but to kill herself? JD had never understood why people would want to kill themselves when someone else loved them.
Oh, he could fake it well enough to kill them himself, if they were assholes, but… but he loved Veronica! Why would she kill herself when she knew how much he loved her! Didn't she care that her death would hurt him? Didn't she care that he was doing all of this for her?
Killing Heather Chandler had been an accident, kind of, but JD would have started with her anyway, after how mean she was to his Veronica. Ram and Kurt became dead men walking after what they had tried to do to her. Them spreading those rumors all over the school had just sharpened JD's anger.
Honestly, the only thing holding him back from killing Heather Duke personally was the sweet irony of having her collect all the signatures for him first. If she'd targeted Veronica, though, instead of Heather McNamara? She wouldn't have made it past study hall.
He'd told her, though! He'd told Veronica tonight, too. He was meant to be hers; that's why he did all these things for her. Dead people couldn't taunt Veronica anymore, or make her feel inferior.
Three — maybe four — schools back, JD had had an English teacher who was a complete idiot. He'd had a poster up in his classroom, right next to the desk in the back where JD sat, that had a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt on it in a fancy, curling script:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
There were several reasons why that teacher was an idiot, and that poster was only one of them. Clearly Roosevelt had been a popular girl in school, or she wouldn't know how much her fancy quote was utter bullshit.
People made those around them feel inferior all the time without their consent. It was literally the definition of being a popular kid in high school. Popular kids weren't popular because they were inherently better, or smarter, or more deserving. They were popular because they'd figured out how to put everyone else in their place. If you had the power to dictate the hierarchy of your class, then you would obviously put yourself at the top of the pyramid.
Heather Chandler had understood that. She knew that her power came from her ability to control Heathers Duke and McNamara. And all of their power came from their ability to lead Kurt and Ram and the other jocks around by their dicks. And all of them maintained their power because of their ability to make everyone else feel like they deserved to be at the bottom of the social pyramid.
JD had never consented, and yet almost everyone in his life had contrived to tell him exactly how inferior he was. His mom never did, but then she had left him. And now Veronica. Veronica never made him feel inferior either; she made him feel powerful, like he could protect her from the world.
And now she had left him. She threw his gifts back in his face and killed herself to get away from him. JD was tired of people killing themselves to get away from him.
He was going to prove his love to Veronica, even though she wouldn't know it now. He'd finish planting the bomb. He'd kill everyone who had ever made Veronica feel inferior, who had tried to do the same to him. And then he'd join Veronica.
Then, she'd see the true depth of his devotion. Then she'd understand why he had to kill the others for her. Then she'd be grateful for his gift.